


Marry-Me Cheesecake

by malafight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Human AU, cheating npcs for fun and profit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 01:54:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11048859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malafight/pseuds/malafight
Summary: A pair of regulars make Jasper's dead-end waitressing job interesting, at least.





	Marry-Me Cheesecake

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't work on howl at work today so you get this silliness instead xoxo

The first time it happened, it was cute. A pair of women sitting in her section of the chain Italian eatery brought the whole house to a screeching halt as the thinner of the two fumbled her way through a marriage proposal. The blonde went down on one knee in the walkway and offered her plump partner the ring, and she was rewarded with an enthusiastic yes. Or, rather, an enthusiastic “ _ Heck  _ yes.”

Jasper had smiled at that, a bright spot in her usually-stressful job as a waitress, and provided them with a free, celebratory cheesecake. A young couple not far from the activity had flagged her down and paid for the pair’s meal. The look on the newly-engaged couple’s faces was priceless.

The second time it happened, though, Jasper was confused. She wasn’t sure, at first, if it was the same pair. But this time, the plump latina was the one going down on one knee, and the blonde gave an excited shriek and leaped into her arms.

It nagged at the back of Jasper’s mind even as she offered the free dessert, and the older woman just across from them paid for their meals.

The third time it happened, Jasper got suspicious. The blonde’s proposal became more ostentatious, and the brunette’s acceptance more enthusiastic. They had worn different outfits each time, but she recognized them this time. The blonde was… cute. The latina looked almost like she could be one of Jasper’s cousins, though, which threw her off a bit.

But it was a pity they seemed to be together, because she’d have loved to get to know the blonde a bit better. Small and a little chubby wasn’t exactly her “type,” but there was something about the freckled blonde that demanded Jasper’s interest.

Their meal was paid for again; in fact, two separate tables tried to pay for their meals.

The fourth time, she found out their names. The latina was Amethyst; the blonde, Peridot. They had ended up in her section again — in fact, they’d specifically asked for her. She was surprised they knew her name, though as many times as they’d pulled this scam, she shouldn’t have been.

It was the same show again: Amethyst proposed to Peridot with what Jasper assumed was a reference to something (“Will you run the three-legged races with me forever?” seemed a little odd, even for this pair) and Peridot leaped into her arms. A younger couple paid for their meals.

Again.

It was the fifth time when Jasper stood in front of their table and finally  _ asked. _

“Who’s proposing tonight?”

The pair looked at each other, blushing and laughing sheepishly.

“We’ve been caught, huh?” Amethyst asked. Jasper crossed her arms and cocked her hips, resting her weight on one leg.

“You’ve been coming to the same restaurant and asking for the same server for weeks. You should have been caught before now.”

“What can I say?” Amethyst asked, “We like it here, and Peridot here likes  _ you,  _ so…”

Peridot turned bright red and tried to hide her face behind a napkin.

“Amethyst!” she whined. “I didn’t want you to  _ tell her,  _ you clod!”

Amethyst shrugged.

“Listen, you got a case of the gay, I’m just here facilitatin’ your confession.”

Jasper raised an eyebrow and looked from one to the other a few times.

“You’re telling me that after all this, you aren’t even together?”

“Are you kidding me?” Peridot whined, “She’s my best friend, but if I was dating her I’d go insane!”

“Truth,” Amethyst said, holding up one hand. “Peridot’s needy as fuck. And I’m spoken for.”

“So…” Jasper looked between them. “How long have you been scamming free food with proposals?”

“Uh, like-” Amethyst looked at the ceiling and tapped her fingertips together, counting. “Once or twice a week for like… three months?”

“Twice a week for four months at three different restaurants,” Peridot corrected, peeking over her napkin. Jasper looked over at her and she squeaked and raised the napkin again.

“So anyway, are you into women? Because my friend wants to get into you.”

“AmeTHYST-!” Peridot squeaked, crushing the napkin against her face and wiggling a bit.

“Listen, you won’t take care of this yourself, I am contractually obligated as your wingman to help you get with the hot waitress.”

Jasper was watching the exchange with an amused smile on her face and a bit of a blush on her cheeks, and she laughed at Amethyst’s encouragement.

“Well, if it means anything, the hot waitress would like to get with the cute food scammer.”

Peridot looked over her napkin again, wide-eyed, and squeaked before covering her face.   
Amethyst kicked her under the table.

“Say something!”

“Clod!”

“Not that!”

“Mega-clod!”

“ _ Pendeja! _ Ask her out already!”

Peridot peeked over the napkin and Amethyst reached across the table and yanked the napkin away from her, flicked her on her forehead. Peridot covered her face with her hands and whined.

Jasper started laughing, leaning forward and reaching over to ruffle Peridot’s hair.

“I’m off at eleven, hot stuff. Want to go to Denny's?”

Peridot peeked between her fingers, eyes wide, and nodded. Amethyst waved for Peridot’s attention.

“Yo. Lovergirl. Try to actually talk this time.”

“Shut up!”

“You’re shutting up enough for the both of us!”

Peridot made an angry nasal sound and flipped Amethyst the bird. Amethyst returned the sentiment double and stuck her tongue out. Jasper just laughed, a deep belly laugh, and straightened back up.

“Alright, you delinquents. Drinks?”


End file.
